I've always known that making a game, even one as small as Ikusa ~ Wartorn, would be a challenge. I've always known that it would throw curveballs at me, no matter what I tried. I've always known that, as I went farther into the labyrinth of programming it, it would only get harder and harder. But one thing I never expected was not being able to work on the damn thing!

It's been...what, eight years now? Eight years since I first began boiling out ideas for an Ikusa game. Nine years since my friend IchibanYousei invited me to the roleplay. Eight years since the roleplay closed down. Eight years to test, examine, study, export, and delete.

So now, as I gaze down the final stretch of work, I wonder how the hell I managed to limit myself. I have a head full to bursting with plans. New ideas are streaming in every hour. I have a freaking leather portfolio with all my Wartorn notes! Yet I have no computer to call my own! *Bangs head against keyboard*

How the frakk am I supposed to get this game out to the masses if I can't work on it on my own time? I can't rely on Matt to let me use his all the time, and I don't want to bother him with it. But goddamn it, I need a reprive of some sort! I need to work on the game and my music on my own system! Even if it's my old, beat-up laptop that my father stole. I need something.

I've heard that hard work yields results. I've heard a dozen parables about perserverence and reward, sown and reaped, etc., etc. And I'll be damned if somebody says I haven't been patient. I know all it takes is a lotta work and a little time. But that's just it - I've still got a lot of work to do, and I want to make a winter deadline soon. How can I do this if all my funds get consumed by the wants of home and elsewhere?

Gah! I'm gonna make a Paypal or something, and start begging. Anything to get me off the ground a little bit at a time.